the meanest thing to say

“You have it so good, why aren’t you happy?”, 15.

“You’re a writer, aren’t you? It's so unhelpful. “One day at a time” is a staple of 12-step programs, but the concept behind it works for heartbreak, too. Remind your friend of positive accomplishments and experiences happening in the here and now. There are many things we would like to say to our exes after a break up.Sometimes they don't come out the way we want them to because we get …

SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. “Depression is a symptom of your sin against God.”, 54.

This one is best executed with an evangelical-style handshake, i.e. Psych Central does not provide medical or psychological The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. ", "Why would a pretty girl like you want to work as a police officer? Here's what to say to a friend going through a breakup—and what not to say, too. ], 33. (alt.support.depression): 1. Then you'll be heartbroken right along with her. The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief. Genevieve S. nominated this response because it's "just plain terrible" to hear in the midst of heartbreak. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories.

Remind them it gets better—without falling into a verbal booby trap. Very similar to the above, but it's worth noting that two women think this type of response is the absolute worst.

"For me, having a declared one-day 'grieving' process is just what I need,” says Genevieve S., 24. “You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”, 51. 21 Incredibly Offensive Things That You Should Never Say To A Woman. According to her, it's basically the same as saying ‘Oh, sure, you can't have the person you want, but you can have someone else." "The best thing is just having someone listen to you as you talk your way through the sadness," says Marie L., 26. So, change it.”. “No one ever said life was fair.” 7. Some people trivialize depression (often unintentionally) by dropping a platitude on a depressed person as if that is the one thing they needed to hear.

“You should join band or chorus or something. 4. “Nobody is responsible for your depression.”, 99. Admit you’re not sure what to say, but that you support your friend and love them even when they’re sad. And don’t do me any favors, schmuck.”, 86. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Sometimes people feel ashamed by the depth of their sadness post-breakup, especially if it was a short, intense fling or someone they know they're better off without. At least she lived a long life, many people die young 2. This is beyond your control, so let it go. “Do you feel better now?”(Usually said following a five minute conversation in which the speaker has asked me “what’s wrong?” and “would you like to talk about it?” with the best of intentions, but absolutely no under-standing of depression as anything but an irrational sadness. ", "Girls don't have dreams and aspirations. 8. When women were asked what the most misogynistic thing a man has ever said to them was, these were their responses. All work written under this moniker is editorially and scientifically reviewed by Psych Central. “I don’t care” What they hear: “Leave me alone. Husbands, stop worrying about knowing the exact "right" thing to say to your wife. “I thought you were stronger than that.”, 7.

So, unless you feel that plundering their home is a good idea, don’t just take things offered to … The trick to making her believe this one is coming prepared with proof—otherwise it can seem generically insincere. Mary Cartwright, Alicia Scott... no? “I get it out of my system knowing that tomorrow, it'll be much better.” Of course, most breakups require more than one day of mourning, which is why this is a better approach than trying to ignore negative emotions. “You have so many things to be thankful for, why are you depressed!”.

“It was dismissive of what I was feeling and the huge hole that was now in my life,” she says. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”, 48. “Believe me, I know how you feel. Some of the most disrespectful things you can say are 100 percent penis-free like "Surmayye a'raasac" (A shoe is on your head). "Superficial things like who's hotter or who's dating more attractive people after don't matter," says Cindy H. "All that matters is that I was attracted to my ex, which is why I dated them in the first place." “Well, we all have our cross to bear.”, 95. Yup, that's the ONLY WAY a woman can find happiness.

", "Don't take it so seriously, sweetheart. “Will you stop that constant whining?

), 12. Worst Things to Say to Someone Who’s Depressed, Learning To Trust Yourself Again After Betrayal, Many Seniors with Depression Faring Well During Pandemic.

Basically, say you are feeling dishonest. Tell her that even though you know she's strong enough to get through this, you'll be there for the totally normal moments when she doesn't believe that herself. After you tell her it's completely fine to be upset, explain that you're always available to listen.

I Feel The Need To Say This First, Because I Think That Sometimes People Forget It: Celebrities Are Still People. “Have you been praying/reading the Bible?”, 31. “After a very difficult breakup—we loved each other, but he wanted children and I definitely did not—someone told me, ‘Well, you know, couldn't you just have one kid, for him?’” says Jennifer P., 44, about a breakup that happened in her mid-30s. “I was committed to spending my life with her,” and comments like this diminished the magnitude of her choice to get married and why she felt so devastated after the breakup. ", "If you want to make it in academia, get tenured before getting pregnant. © 2020 Condé Nast.

", "You should think again about being a physics major. And tell me, what exactly does an engineer look like? You can have another child still 7. Right, women's brains can't comprehend that you + this thought = stupid. Genevieve S. nominated this response because it's "just plain terrible" to hear in the midst of heartbreak. The foot is considered the most filthy part of the body, courtesy of their deserts not having any shortages on dirt. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”, 62.

“You will be ok, just hang in there, it will pass.” “This too shall pass.” – Ann Landers, 90. Is that what you said when a woman chauffeured your ass everywhere during your childhood? “What do you have to be depressed about”. “Why don’t you give up going to these quacks (ie doctors) and throw out those pills, then you’ll feel better.”, 94. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. From "honey, I'll put the kids to bed" to "you are the most gorgeous woman in my life," here's your script. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now 6. It can be hard to remember the thrill of a new love when you're mourning the loss of a previous one. “So, you’re depressed. After that they start losing their beauty. “We have to get together some time.” [Yeah, right! “You don’t like feeling that way? Aren’t you always?”, 87. “You have no reason to feel this way.”, 61.

Tell them that in good times, too. Giving someone permission and space to grieve can help them find the energy to make the next day a little bit easier. When women were asked what the most misogynistic thing a man has ever said to … “Quit whining. Resumés and hard work don't matter at all. ", "If you become a surgeon, no man will be happy marrying you. If only things were better…” No, life isn’t fair (and I hate to break it to you, but it never will be).

You feel it, accept it, and eventually meet someone better." “You have to take up your bed and carry on.”, 93. (False on both counts.) If you ever feel the urge to say this, stop yourself.

It doesn't even have to be something that monumental—anything that helps her realize there's exciting potential in being single will do. “What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective.”, 83. That way you won’t be thinking about yourself so much.”, 98.

You are then more likely to see other people as dishonest, and this makes you, in a sense, feel more honest yourself. Learn more. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. I was depressed once for several days.”, 78. says Alana R. Instead, try reflecting some of her complaints about her ex back to her in a constructive way (and only on the days she actually wants advice, not when she just wants to cry/eat her feelings/generally indulge her sadness).

“What are you worried about? She brought this on herself 4. Rather than focusing on how your friend stacks up to her ex's new boo, explain how amazing she is all on her own. “Well, everyone gets depressed sometimes!”, 37. Breakups that happen because two people want different things don’t have to get ugly, and there doesn’t have to be a villain. “Life isn’t fair. This can be especially hard to watch when it is your friend going through a breakup: You know she's awesome and she'll find love again, but she's still crying into a glass of pinot grigio and deleting pictures of her ex off her Instagram every night. “You’d feel better if you went to church”, 79. “I thought you were stronger than that.” 6. Ad Choices, Real Women Share the Best and Worst Responses to a Friend Going Through a Breakup. Here are 7 things you should never say to someone: 1. “Things aren’t *that* bad, are they?”, 29. Something like, "You'd always mentioned how mean he could be during fights. “Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?”, 3.

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